You never know what kind of day, week or even year someone is having. When facilitating resilience workshops, itвЂ™s important to meet participants вЂњwhere they areвЂќ without judgement or assumptions.

Sometimes, the best way to support them is to simply ask, вЂњhow are youвЂ¦ really?вЂќ followed by deep listening and asking how you can support them and promoting other resources as relevant. It acknowledges that, sometimes, people need to hear, вЂњitвЂ™s ok not to be ok вЂќ maybe resilience training should kick off with that? Not that we want participants to stay in the вЂњnot okвЂќ space, but theyвЂ™re likely not interested in hearing mantras like, вЂњit takes both sun and rain to make a rainbow вЂќ rather, they need to be met where they are, to feel understood, valued, supported, hopeful and confident that things can get better they need empathetic optimism to gently help them move forward. ItвЂ™s not aimed at trying to make people happy and itвЂ™s not about toxic positivity. Recently, the topic of mental health has been in the Covid spotlight prompting вЂњmental health awarenessвЂќ training across corporations. ThatвЂ™s the last thing you want to happen especially if a participant may be in a dark place or feel hopeless.

In short, it's acting like everything is ok when it's not. Suffice to say, a common denominator is that toxic positivity is disingenuous it can marginalize others and what theyвЂ™re feeling and result in unintended negative consequences that can undermine even the most well-designed training. What is toxic positivity? If you research вЂњtoxic positivity,вЂќ youвЂ™ll see variations on a theme. First, let's lean into the concept of toxic positivity. Third, being a naturally positive person, it prompted self-reflection regarding how IвЂ™m perceived am I a purveyor of toxic positivity? I'll share more detail about each of these in Part Two. Second, IвЂ™ve recently decided to proactively address that вЂњitвЂ™s ok not to be okвЂќ noting that optimism and resilience arenвЂ™t about trying to вЂњmake everyone happyвЂќ nor are they about toxic positivity. First, it reminded me to never get too relaxed by assuming that workshop positioning, context or learning objectives are properly communicated. I gained three actionable insights from that one experience. So, I thoughtfully addressed it вЂњin the momentвЂќ and committed to be more diligent about pre-work. The participantвЂ™s question was concerning because I knew that if he had voiced that perception, itвЂ™s likely others were feeling similarly. Successful facilitation requires a facilitator with a high degree of emotional intelligence and itвЂ™s nuanced. In fact, itвЂ™s not even about youвЂ¦ but you can be the difference in how the content lands. Whose fault was that? Ultimately, as the facilitator, I felt it was mine that experience reinforced my accountability for up-front positioning.ДЄs a facilitator, we canвЂ™t just вЂњshow up and throw up,вЂќ to quote a former colleague facilitation isnвЂ™t about imparting all your wisdom.

I recalled the concept of toxic positivity and realized that the workshop likely wasnвЂ™t positioned properly. Once, I facilitated a resilience workshop where a participant asked, вЂњis this training supposed to make everyone happy?вЂќ Trying to mask my agitation, I thought, вЂњwhereвЂ™d he get that idea?вЂќ His perception was so off base, and it made the training appear shallow. In this article, IвЂ™m sharing three actionable insights I gained from a single self-inflicted and unforced facilitation error. In my last article, I wrote about not letting fear of failure hold me back from trying new things. (Part One: implications for facilitators) I hope you enjoy reading these 794 words :) and develop some actionable insights along the way I welcome your reaction and hope youвЂ™ll share your experiences and learnings as well. My views are based on my research and experience over 17 years facilitating Energy & Resilience Workshops to a variety of audiences across seven countries. The primary title is, вЂњOptimism and Resilience arenвЂ™t about Toxic Positivity.вЂќ It will have four parts Part One addresses implications for facilitators Part Two will detail actionable insights from Part One Part Three will address techniques for cultivating optimism, and Part Four suggests considerations for corporate communicators. As such, IвЂ™m breaking this article into four parts and will post them a few days a part. I attended a Linked In Training this week where it was suggested that the ideal article is between 400 вЂ“ 800 words.

Toxic optimism